In the online disinformation age, churning out a vaguely credible daily transfer gossip column is a hard enough task without the likes of Thomas Tuchel ruining our fun. Only yesterday, we gave you the big news that Matteo Guendouzi might be off to PSG. With speculation mounting, Tuchel was grilled by reporters after his side’s surprise loss to Lens. Is the impish Arsenal outcast on his radar? “No.”
Er, OK. Well what about (checks notes) Roma utility man Alessandro Florenzi? “I’m confident in Florenzi signing. He’s not in Paris today but hopefully tomorrow.” This kind of transparency from an elite manager is refreshing, but it threatens the Mill’s very existence, so we’re thankful Tuchel wasn’t asked about Eduardo Camaving…